Withdrawn

So withdrawn you know. . .
Just planning my next trip - hope it happens soon.
The hollowness inside shall not subside because all seems futile.
The brightness shall not erode because all seems plausible.
I long for a day
When I face the morning with a smile on my face.
Elusive it seems - but within reach nonetheless.

I have no idea where I will go
I know why I am going though.
Just have to get away so I can organize the thought(s) in my head.
I wonder if it appears depressing.
Or whether I am a lone soul.
I am not sure if I care of what people may think
Just that I give a Fk.

I wonder if it is a phase
And one day it strikes me like a truck head on.
That I am just nobody in the middle of somebodies.

Withdrawn.
Guaranteed.
All that I hold dear shall one day vanish I am sure of.
All that I hold wanted shall someday metamorphose into abstract.
Withdrawn.
Guaranteed.
Nullified.
Blown Apart.

Cannot feel my heart beat.
Cannot feel myself sleeping.
Cannot see myself unconscious.
Cannot feel the sun upon me.
Cannot feel the warmth.
Cannot hear the words.
Lost.
Withdrawn.
Guaranteed.