Dutt to Jail

Funny that this blog is called 'khadda' which means hole. Modeled after Galt's Gulch.

Yesterday, Sanjay Dutt was sentenced to completing his 5 years in jail for possession of an AK47 blah blah. Indians know the story - kinda. This is today's article - very thought-provoking view of how one ought to think of what happened to the man.
The story is simple - he used to be a wild child who loved guns and drugs. Of course, I am saying this based on what I have read which often is garnished with a lot of rubbish.

The points are:
Luck is a strong force; many celebrities and powerful people have gotten away with worse.

A bad decision can haunt you forever. Quite often, what these biggies say is that , 'hey, now we have changed ... sorry for what happened.' Which is quite the conundrum eh?

How do you repent the things you have done?
What is the cost of a life?
How strong is money really?

Rumination

Europe has changed me for the better (or less worse). Today, I attended a lecture on 'superparticles' which could be a part of particle physics; may be for the first time I sat for a lecture without the compulsion to learn and remember and that made the lecture quite enjoyable...
I read about Sufjan Stevens, Casimir Pulaski, Nick Drake, Modigliani and I see the horror that this society has transformed into...
I still thank my friend for telling me about Into the Wild because it made me sincerely question materialism. Yes, yes ... I'm not a complete disaster yet (or would I be called a victor?).
We still have artists and brilliant scientists in our midst (not so much in our midst, but you get the vibe...) however, they don't seem to be as strong as earlier. They seem weak, succumbing to the lure of materialism which is understandable but deplorable for society as a whole.

Yes, a decade from now people might appreciate some artists whom we don't right now but I don't see a painter, a sculptor, a writer or a poet then... I see successful bands which will have made people happy not through their art but through their canvas.

I said that Europe has been beneficial because I saw a weird joy in people - as the french say "joie de vivre" which means "the joy of living". I see in India people who are old at 25 years of age where the only form of them being young is partying and boozing (extreme generalization).

Next week I'm going for a contemporary dance performance at the NCPA. Will I like it? I don't know but it's a brilliant mode of escapism.


I love the world of particle physics and quantum physics - particularly because it is so difficult to imagine some of the things postulated or proven.
2 galaxies colliding 4 billion light years away?
A very small amount of energy in daily life, such as 1TeV, which is difficult to 'create' or 'capture'...
Weakly Interacting Massive Particles which could hold the key to finding a 'theory of everything'. For the record, experiments are underway in a mine where supercooled Germanium crystals are used to capture the faintest of vibrations from particles such as WIMPs.

Take a step back my friend and you will see how inconsequential our lives are...
We live for 60-90 years.
We pursue money and affection.
We are heartbroken and we feel loved.
We sleep less, we sleep too much, we smile too little, we are serious and not as jovial as we ought to be...
You ask me why I loved Into the Wild?
Here's why:



"So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservatism, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more dangerous to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man's living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun."
— Chris McCandless

"The core of mans' spirit comes from new experiences."
— Chris McCandless

OMG!! It's soooo beautiful!!!

There is an infantile joy in travelling. Even though I have been to many places, I remember only a few. In the recent past I have seen London, Paris, Hong Kong, Chicago, Red River Gorge, Murud-Janjira and Korlai Fort (rather magnificent); may be this is more than what most people might see even in their lifetime and more than many people might have seen in their recent past but I don't want to stop.
I have friends in Kazakhstan, Taiwan, Greece, South Korea and I want to go to these places even if for a few days, but more than these places I want to go to nature. Being from Mumbai, nature is rather elusive and getting away from the city is pleasurable.

I wish to visit Patagonia, Antarctica, Hawaii, East India, North India, South India, New Zealand, Scandinavia, South Germany and may be I will. May be I will find my treasures in other locations...
The structure of society is such that soon I will want to 'be' with somebody. I hope that that somebody likes travelling (at least almost) as much as I do and the odds are that she will.
What does bother me (yes, I can't sleep at night because of this thought!!) is the wresting away of my independence for I wont be able to just leave my home on a whim... Life is beautiful :)

I Deserve This!!

People are divided and I see that some will end up being wealthy. Wealth is an interesting measure of distinction. One reason is because wealth is not necessarily earned, and the people of tomorrow, who will be wealthy, may in fact be some of the most undeserving people. You get to see people around you who work harder or work smarter but are not as wealthy.
The reason I focus on wealth is because wealth, above a certain extent makes life easier. Beyond a certain extent, makes life harder.
And that is the funny thing about life. How easy or hard it is always depends on the time period.
Earlier, I made a reference to 'deserve'. I shall always wonder what it means. The idea of 'deserve', I believe, has been created by humans. It has been created to make us feel better, make us have faith and allow us to blame or look up to or look down upon people.
This person deserves to be happy; this person deserves to go to jail; this person deserves a second chance at life...

Humans love creating meaning and reason. We love finding a path to all. Now, when I think about all the times that I have used the word 'deserve', I think about how naive I was (and, may be, still am). People work hard, people work smart and people end up along different points on the spectrum of standing.
The stance may be based on happiness, family, work life, monetary pleasures...
There is no reason why I deserve something.


However, and this is the crucial part, we have to believe that doing what ought to get us to a better place, should be done. It's always a pursuit. I want to work close to the capital markets because I believe it is going to get me nearer to my hope. What if I don't make it far? Just because I believe I am intelligent, doesn't mean that I deserve a throne.
All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players...

Business Class

I kept my cool and told my uncle very simply that I did not want to travel by business class. It is not about the money - but about the distinction that one garners with the help of money. I am nobody right now - which he fails to understand (narrow closed ignorant mind that he has) - and therefore I am going abroad because of my Dad's hard work. Buffett introduced me to a potent term - Ovarian Lottery - which I often cite. His belief is, if you have money, irrespective of source, you should enjoy it.
I find it sad when people's minds are not open to other's beliefs. I understood his concept and I understood where he came from - but that is not me. It may be one of the virtues of self actualisation.

Action backed by a strong belief and understanding - howmuchever naive it may be - allows me confidence. I found it exhilirating to know how calm I was when I spoke of this because I knew exactly what I was saying.

Another thing that I have learnt is talking surely. Slowly, calculatively and with a belief that what you are saying has meaning behind it (at times).
May be why I cannot just talk about absolute BS and inconsequence. May be reg. matters which I do not understand or I may not be interested in.

This is a thoroughly useless post and my regards to any reader who may have had to bear through this assembly of words.