Walking

Sickness can change people. Yesterday, I got out at night for a drive and a walk. Jaundice had kept me away from wonderful Mumbai winter nights and yesterday I pushed myself to get out.
As I walked near my school I thought of all the poor rich souls cooped up in their beautiful homes, tired after a long day at work and an even more tiring back home and I thought to myself - what is it worth if you can't get out at night for a peaceful walk?

What do I think of? Nothing really... times gone by, times ahead, changes in my life and how the moon looks in the dead of the night.

We need the simple things - chai, walks, good food, good rest, good work, good growth AND good health.

Life and Ladakh

The fragility of life haunts me in a romantic way. I still think of my friend who died more than a month ago, and the way he died makes me really believe in the power of life and that which we don't cherish - life itself. Tsunami, earthquakes, car crash, an odd fall, a virus or a bacterium, a deranged human being, a missile from an unfriendly country - anything can hurt us and there is nothing we can do. I have written this way often and yet have not grown tired of it. Should I tell her that I love her? Should I tell him that he is awesome? Should I smile more often and be crazy for no reason? Should I breathe some pure air because I have the ability to? Is the process of earning money interfering with one's desire to live one's life? Can this be balanced? I can't eat Korean food once I'm dead, nor can I kiss a girl or drink some wonderful water.


In other news...once again, I am off to the mountains (This Sunday). I love them because they don't care.
And once again I must say goodbye in case I don't come back alive; it would be a wonderful way to leave existence - in the mountains. Am not ready of course, far from it :)
Have sustained an injury in my right knee but still going for a 4 day trek through Sham valley. After that, plan to live in a village away from Leh. Let's hope I make it through all of this.
PS I weigh 73 kilos. Shall let you guys know what the number stands at when (and if) I'm back.

Farrokh!

Somehow, I have managed to stay away from Queen for the last 25 odd years. I am happy now for I have found Freddie Dikra :d a.k.a. Freddie Mercury aka Farrokh Bulsara
The music, the lyrics, the insanity, the voice, the voice, the voice.

Dynamite with a laser beam
You say Shark, I say - Hey man! Jaws was never my scene and I don't like Star Wars!!
All I wanna do is... Bicycle!!
I dont have no time for no monkey business!!
200 degrees!! That's why they call me Mr. Fahrenheit!!

I have been a little insane about their songs - but I wonder what Queen would have been without Freddie.

Freddie!! Sing away in my head por favor!!

Struck by a nose

At the Laxmi Lawns next to Magarpatta City, Pune, I bumped into a cute girl. "Sorry 'bout that", I said, she turned and smiled. She took two steps and turned back at me, smiling, to see me smiling at her. That is the double take. Small things like this make life interesting.

I was there with a friend for a two day concert. The NH7 weekender concert, we went there for the Dewarists stage. Brilliant crowd with some very fine ladies. Brilliant music and a crazy atmosphere. Indian Ocean, The Raghu Dixit Project, Swarathma, Advaita (a new band we discovered), Papon and the East India Company (another new band!!! Banao is a hit!!!). Imogen Heap was there - she had collaborated with Vishal Dadlani on a new song.
The last day ended with many performers present on a new stage. Insane!!! A massive crowd with a DJ for a while, then Pentagram, then Raghu Ram (from Indian Ocean), Monica Dogra and Shaair joined in, so did Imogen. They mixed their sounds and their music - it was just happiness everywhere. People jumping and swaying and singing and shouting.

I remember lying down flat on the grass listening to music from 50 metres away and a guy comes up to me and asks, "Hey can I take your photo?" "Sure, do I need to keep my eyes open?" "No man, whatever you wanna do!" "Cool"

I went wild during Raghu, Indian Ocean and Papon. Hadn't danced (jumped/ moved wildly/ uncontrollably) like that for a long long time... I asked the girl in front of me for a cigarette. She obliged. I offered to take better snaps because she was short. A small conversation ensued. The music ended.

I walked and moved without care through a spattering of people, some on the grass, some in their groups. It was lovely. I was struck by a nose. Figuratively. Funny how that nose is still in my head. Figuratively. I think I have a thing for noses. Figuratively and, hmm, literally. Muahhahahahahaaaaaaa.

Life is good and the girls are gorgeous.

The travails of society

My blogging has reduced primarily because of work and secondarily because my eyes have been giving me grief. To clear the air; my eyes are tired, dry and in pain especially by the time I come back from work; this makes me avoid the computer once I come home.
My third eye-specialist is trustworthy and has given me tear-inducing drops which will  start being effective 2.5 months from now. However, all of this is of little relevance to any reader.

The other day I was reading a post by 'Neo Indian'. It's quite a hilarious site with very meaningful statements talking about the India that is, was and should be. He asked people to stop posting 'supportive' comments on social networks and start doing something meaningful like supporting soldiers or actually being a part of the rally.. For me, that was one of many such littered posts on the net.
A dilemma facing some of us new Indians is our affection for our country.
I have clarified before that more than India I belong with the Indian culture - not the villages and the bureaucracy but the language spoken by a Mumbai-ite, the food, the issues, the joys and the sentiments. I get annoyed when people say that we should work for our country or for our parents, not because that could possibly be ridiculous but because nobody ought to suggest why and how one should live with the 'suggestion' being the face to a guilt producing demand.
As a contrast, I read a letter by Theodore Deden which seems to be speaking about investing but is in fact speaking about a way of life; a way of life that we ought to be living but contrasts with how most people live today. What I drew from the letter was individualism and a greater consciousness of that which surrounds us, that which has come to pass and that which we ought to work towards.

I crave independence - could be because of the way my life has panned out or what I have heard or read or seen - and I ache to create a difference to my own life. This is in stark contrast to what I used to be.

I remember the time when I said, very sincerely, that I want to change the world.
I remember the time when, for love, I changed what I used to be in favour of supporting the relationship.
I also remember the time when I used to excel at academics and was rather proud of my achievements.
There was a time when I ached to get back to work and to give something back to society.
I now believe that only if I live for my personal success will I be in a position to be with someone or live for something or give something back to society. It's alright if I fail at following through after attaining my success, because I know that that will be an endeavour and not an end.
Personal success has little to do with wealth. It has a lot to do with the freedom to travel, read, listen to music and grow individually. "We are all here to learn" said my ex-professor and that I hold close to me.

Working for somebody when one has access to more potential is ridiculous. But in the short-term it could be justified. Only if I am to find my balls (figurative) will I start my progress. I am appalled at how little time I have to read, travel and experience the fruits of life. Studying and following a way of work will only create knowledge which is shared by many others. I would love to know more about people, cultures, histories and progresses - may be I will be a couple of steps ahead in seeing the progress of civilization. And this could be a great support system to the way I am.

I used to be content. Am not anymore. I know the field of work I am bound to enjoy, the workplace I would love to tap-dance to (credit goes to Mr. Buffett), the kind of books I would love to own and read, the kind of people I would love to eat or drink with, the kind of time I would love to have on my hands and the kind of health I would love to develop. Am I a few steps ahead or am I creating my own little cocoon?

Please come again!!!

Once in a while we are fated to meet extraordinary people. By extraordinary, I mean 'away from ordinary', because let's face it... most people are quite similar and rather boring.
French chick working at Airbus, vacationing with her brother in Laos and Cambodia by taking a 4-month sabbatical, and finally moving to a town called 'Surkhet' in Nepal for 2 months to work for an NGO. This is the girl I spent time with over 4 memorable evenings/ days, albeit around other people.

What struck me about this creature was the brilliance that she brought into a room... a child at heart and quite crazy. She said it very simply, "Remember, it's not we who are crazy, it's the other people who take their lives too seriously." The time we spent together was usually around other people but our conversations were very simple. We spoke of people, relations, our own insecurities, culture, identity or the lack thereof and what we found amiss in the people around us at times...
I spent about 4 evenings with her and dropped her to the airport - and quite possibly, we might never meet again, which would be very sad.
I loved her attitude towards fights (in relationships)... too much of that going around anyway, and well, we are together to be happy, really no point fighting. Am too busy smiling. Hope she stays a child forever and hope that society doesn't spoil her.
Please come again!! ;)

And for the record: Buffalo milk pancakes cooked in ghee rock!!!

Marion Grasby

Masterchef Australia contestant - Marion Grasby.
I remember, when I first saw her in the competition I fell in love with her :) She had the most adorable smile. And then I saw how respected she became through the competition.
It's amazing to see the other contestants sing praises and literally be afraid of facing off against her. It was a shock when she was eliminated - it was a shock for me too...
All I can see is the joy, energy and enthusiasm she has when she cooks, her competition said often that the food that Marion prepares "pops in your mouth" full of flavour.

The reason I am blogging about her is that people like her deserve mention. Singers and dancers on reality shows come and go but this particular show just shows the enthusiasm, guts and creativity that some of the contestants have.

I wonder if I will ever go to Australia, and if I do, will I get to eat a preparation by Marion :)

Age

I was listening to Elton John today morning on the radio and the RJ said something about he's 63 years old and still belting out music :)
And I - idealistic and stupid (not) - thought of how we tend to while away our time without due consideration given to our smiles and to the pursuit of something that has no real end...
I thought of my friend's friend, the dude, supposedly, just jams with his amateur band every (other?) Saturday. He's just one example.
But what I see clearly missing in India and in Indians is passion... Need to find it.

Day once dawned...

Music is a beautiful creation. This thought (re)dawned on me when I was travelling in a rick listening to Nick Drake. Of course, there is an unusual simplicity to his creations but for a moment, his music took me away from the noise of traffic around me and from the swarm of people crowding the streets. For some unusual reason Bach and Rahul Sharma do something similar. At times, we fall into a trap with our music-listening tendencies and songs that we like are made monotonous, songs that we would pleasantly hum before are mechanically copied and then, just like that, the monotony is broken and we remember the song for what it used to be.
I still remember a school friend who once told me that she does not like music. I was and still am a person who does not get surprised by people's uncharacteristic, individualistic choices but I remember my astonishment then to something I could not comprehend. To this day I believe that she did not really mean what she said then.

A smile hidden by a mustache

My day started off with a smile. As I neared my house the sweeper outside the building opened the gate for me even though it wasn't his job. When I stepped out I went to him and said, "Boss, thank you haan." I was greeted with an odd simple smile nestled under his thick mustache followed by a gesture with his broom.
A wise man once said, "People wear clothes."
This statement is quite hilarious as soon as we juxtapose man against other species. Clothes provide protection against the elements and also serve as ornaments, possibly to attract mates :| however society has restricted mating through the creation of 'marriage'.
Let's go back a couple of thousand years and we note that man used to be simple. Hunting, farming, eating, procreation, sleeping and miscellaneous chores. It is around this time that the capitalist system or the need to earn, multiply, preserve and spend wealth was created.
What we call technology, innovation and ease of life may be termed futile by another species - which brings me to an earlier post where I mentioned :
Prime Minister Lyonchhen Jigmi Y. Thinley once said, "We are losing our humanness to become robots programmed to be productive through endless labour so as to earn to consume more and more without satisfaction."

Where is the simplicity to life? Is it just a farce? Or are we just doomed to follow this ritual laid out by present-day humans believing this to be the only meaningful way of passing through life?

Indian-ness

When I was studying in the US I found it difficult to explain India and Indian-ness. We are a queer lot and I am extremely proud about being Indian. Am I patriotic? I wouldn't say so.
But let's expand that shall we... If somebody were to blast India's external affairs decisions or talk about India being a poor country I wouldn't be a fanatic sitting to pounce on anything 'anti-Indian'.
However, if something derogatory is said against Indians and our Indian-ness - that is something derogatory against me. I am forever ready to poke fun at my Indian-ness and everything said in jest will be well accepted :)

Shashi Tharoor has done an outstanding job at capturing this Indian and has tried rather well at defining an Indian in his book: India: From midnight to the millennium.
It is a miracle that Indians co-exist together when we are, in fact, very very distinct, but I see something changing now. A large portion of urban Indians tend to be rather similar and define themselves as Indian, Mumbai-ite or Bangalore-an than as Hindu, Muslim, blah.
Asking for a person's religion or geography or mother tongue is first-nature to us because we love stereotyping and we love creating an opinion about a person without knowing the person. That is something quite Indian.

Another thing that is quite extraordinary is our history. The Babri Masjid fiasco supposedly started in the 1500s when Babar demolished an Indian temple, which makes me think - America was only just discovered in 1492.
The oldest Christian community outside Palestine is in India - Kerala. I tend to be abrupt in the way I write and my point is this...
As Indians, we have a very fruitful history behind us with the Panchayat system, Business System, Accounting System and Sciences. As Indians, we have allowed a multitude of external 'forces' to influence us: Aryans, Romans, British, Mughal, Mongolian, blah...

There is something intangible that is immensely powerful about being an Indian but when we are faced with confident white-skinned people we tend to take a step back. Some of you may frown at this comment and say, "Hey!! That is not true!!!" But I am confident that when they choose to mock us or show their superiority or enthrall us with their personality or looks we are influenced.

Be proud and stand your ground :)

Changing Indians

The Indian woman / mom of yesterday used to wear Indian clothes so even when swanky restaurants and sports clubs started opening up they would wear Indian clothes while escorting their husbands / child(ren).
What I saw noticed today is the Indian woman in her late 20s / early 30s wearing 'western' outfits - an upgrade from the drab t-shirt and jeans. What I noticed next was a woman (rather hot) with great hair and well dressed, carrying a school bag and sports bag that belonged to her child.
Is this what I will see my friends as some years from now? We shall wait and see :)

Man - tall, athletic built, and pretty well groomed. Will the new 'fit' Indian metamorphose into a paunchy, tired, yucky looking man - the kind we see quite often?

Flaws

Guys:
Short,
Baldness,
Fat
Paunch,
Too much body hair?
Crooked teeth,
Bad breath
Greying Hair
Bad fingernails
Perceived fear of small size of 'member'
Attitude Issues
Personality Issues
Hygiene Issues



Girls:
Out of shape
Fat
Crooked teeth
Small sized 'assets'
Too short
Too tall
Bad Hair
Facial Hair
Periods!
Male Dominance



It's a sad sad species as we find flaws in people all too easily :|

Joy changes to Fear

Stephanie D'sa-Colaco wrote this,


"When did the joy of making a choice reduce itself to the fear of making another mistake?"


The rest of her note is pretty awesome too:

When did I get too old for hugs?
I remember the fragrance of my grandma’s hair.
It smelled of everything good and sacrosanct.
Being encircled in her arms without any morose thought tainting the moment.

When did relationships get so complicated?
‘I love u’ used to be a declaration, a fact.
It never made one vulnerable and I was always certain of a reply.

When did the rain become so melancholy?
I remember ‘forgetting’ my umbrella and arriving drenched but with soaring spirits.
The cool droplets coloring my vision made the world seem new and refreshing.
Now I hide, confined in my mind while those old visions disintegrate.

As the days go by and I find every decision harder than the last, I find myself looking into the mirror, engrossed in my soliloquy.




'Tis the tale of a sorry life, a life that we have withdrawn to.
People like saying 'Carpe Diem' and quoting from fascinating movies trying to show to the world they are something they are not. The Fight Club is the first movie that comes to mind.
But more often than not, the quotes are more about that which they would want to be and the hope that it carries along with it.

Extremes are difficult and rather stupid. But take a step today and find the child within.

Find me the spark

Great personalities and great contributions are rarely realized. Random names: Mozart, Ludwig Van, Mohandas Gandhi, Adolf Hitler, Mother Teresa, Michael Jordan?, Elvis Presley, The Beatles!
I believe that striking personalities are difficult to find now and will be even more difficult to find in the future.
There is a lack of independent thought. There is a lack of art (in its various forms).

Do we even know of great artists, poets, composers, authors or leaders from the past 2 decades? Sure, one can say Mandela, Aung San Suu Kyi, Rushdie? - but eh...
What I see is that capitalism and prosperity have driven people into (largely) single files where everyone strives for individual 'success'. It's great that the end of the Cold War stimulated global prosperity. But has the pursuit of prosperity robbed humans of their inherent humanity?

The people who don't fall into files don't get the attention that they would have received some decades ago.
People have become part of the machine and it wouldn't be incorrect to say that things are nice, but I would say that there is an absence of human ingenuity today. Medical research, financial innovations, technological changes are largely driven by entrepreneurs - not as much due to curiosity and thrill, but more due to power and success.
The simplicity of yesteryears is lost.

On an individual level, I believe that some of the innocence can still be ploughed back, or rather, brought to life. Losing oneself and withdrawing from society is a fairly recent development and it can do some of us a lot of good methinks.

Too much time is spent on fear and obedience.

Talk

Why do we opine? It could very well be a source of identity in a world where identity is so difficult to find. I find it absurd when people have opinions about largely irrelevant matters... then again, how else is one supposed to pass time? I have often seen it in me - my desire to opine and I have fulfilled that desire; and often, I have regretted that. People who speak less, interest me; people who speak humbly or softly, impress me; people who speak incessantly, humour me. Wording one's beliefs is welcome, but more often than not - words are insignificant and therefore, it is a gift to keep shut. Aggression has amused me for a while now; sometimes it is required, but most of the times... it is just a man's ego. It's one thing to stand up for yourself, one thing to stand up for others, and one thing to stand up because you want your words heard. Solitude is precious, and we often forget that... we have forgotten that to the point that we no longer consider it. There is just so much to do and so much to achieve. There are people to answer to and there is society to be a part of. I crave to go away without telling anybody about it, without being in touch. Stay away for some time, speak little, think less, walk more, see more and withdraw.

Vulnerable

I got drunk last night, or as one of my friends put it - hammered.
This was the first time I have ever been drunk, and potentially, the last.
2 large bourbons, 1 pint blue moon, 3/4 shots tequila (cannot remember), 2/3 (horrible) vodkas; all of this on, pretty much, an empty stomach.
Coup de grâce - puked in public and have hazy images of people moving away from me as I puked. I also remember shrieks of 'ewwww'.
Life is beautiful.
It's a good thing that I decided to be irresponsible in a situation where I had friends around me. Shall not forget the fact that they got me home; although, I can't remember who it was that got rid of my pants :P
Well, I believe I did.
The other good thing about getting drunk in cold weather - you don't feel that cold.
Puking helps - rids one of the stupor or the potential headache.

I do hope that I did not say anything last night that could be regretted.

Now for the important point; why did I get drunk 1 night before my birthday?
I don't think that there is a clear reason... my friend did get a bottle of bourbon from Kentucky for me, and that made the task simple. I should add that daym that bourbon is crazy shit :D
There was a food and non-alcoholic drink event sponsored by MSF and that made it easier to be around alcohol, afterwards.

I do not think I would want to get drunk ever again. Buzzed - yes.

Addendum: So, I also had an Irish car bomb after the vodkas, but I don't remember having that. However, I do remember asking the bartender chick to describe what it was...
And this goes out to my friends who took care of me :D
Quite awesome that a platoon walked me home to make sure I was OK :D

Indian Girls

Indian girls are crazily pretty. I can say this with confidence because I have been in a different country for 7 months. They may be hot, they may look doll-like, they may know how to dress up well; but Indian girls have something in their faces that makes them stand apart. May be there is something about how clothes fall on an Indian girl that accentuates her beauty. I am sad that I am going back to US for 5 months (I think).
I was open to working in Singapore earlier and now I am more keen on it. Don't get me wrong, because it's not the chicks; it's the culture. :D
Singapore, HK & US were my preferred destinations (and still are); and from these 3, Singapore would be the closest to the Indian culture, even though the place is nothing like India. I remember it from about 6 years ago and I remember being comfortable (may be because I was on vacation :P)

Coming back to the Indian girls' topic; I remember going to the Indian society at UIUC called "Dharma" and I remember that the prettiest Indian chick there was the darkest chick there. I remember how there is nothing that left me spellbound in UIUC; except for some Indian chicks and this 1 American who looked a lot like Avril Lavigne.
Indian chicks !
Feel proud - coz you chicks can be crazy beautiful :D