The travails of society

My blogging has reduced primarily because of work and secondarily because my eyes have been giving me grief. To clear the air; my eyes are tired, dry and in pain especially by the time I come back from work; this makes me avoid the computer once I come home.
My third eye-specialist is trustworthy and has given me tear-inducing drops which will  start being effective 2.5 months from now. However, all of this is of little relevance to any reader.

The other day I was reading a post by 'Neo Indian'. It's quite a hilarious site with very meaningful statements talking about the India that is, was and should be. He asked people to stop posting 'supportive' comments on social networks and start doing something meaningful like supporting soldiers or actually being a part of the rally.. For me, that was one of many such littered posts on the net.
A dilemma facing some of us new Indians is our affection for our country.
I have clarified before that more than India I belong with the Indian culture - not the villages and the bureaucracy but the language spoken by a Mumbai-ite, the food, the issues, the joys and the sentiments. I get annoyed when people say that we should work for our country or for our parents, not because that could possibly be ridiculous but because nobody ought to suggest why and how one should live with the 'suggestion' being the face to a guilt producing demand.
As a contrast, I read a letter by Theodore Deden which seems to be speaking about investing but is in fact speaking about a way of life; a way of life that we ought to be living but contrasts with how most people live today. What I drew from the letter was individualism and a greater consciousness of that which surrounds us, that which has come to pass and that which we ought to work towards.

I crave independence - could be because of the way my life has panned out or what I have heard or read or seen - and I ache to create a difference to my own life. This is in stark contrast to what I used to be.

I remember the time when I said, very sincerely, that I want to change the world.
I remember the time when, for love, I changed what I used to be in favour of supporting the relationship.
I also remember the time when I used to excel at academics and was rather proud of my achievements.
There was a time when I ached to get back to work and to give something back to society.
I now believe that only if I live for my personal success will I be in a position to be with someone or live for something or give something back to society. It's alright if I fail at following through after attaining my success, because I know that that will be an endeavour and not an end.
Personal success has little to do with wealth. It has a lot to do with the freedom to travel, read, listen to music and grow individually. "We are all here to learn" said my ex-professor and that I hold close to me.

Working for somebody when one has access to more potential is ridiculous. But in the short-term it could be justified. Only if I am to find my balls (figurative) will I start my progress. I am appalled at how little time I have to read, travel and experience the fruits of life. Studying and following a way of work will only create knowledge which is shared by many others. I would love to know more about people, cultures, histories and progresses - may be I will be a couple of steps ahead in seeing the progress of civilization. And this could be a great support system to the way I am.

I used to be content. Am not anymore. I know the field of work I am bound to enjoy, the workplace I would love to tap-dance to (credit goes to Mr. Buffett), the kind of books I would love to own and read, the kind of people I would love to eat or drink with, the kind of time I would love to have on my hands and the kind of health I would love to develop. Am I a few steps ahead or am I creating my own little cocoon?

Rumination

Europe has changed me for the better (or less worse). Today, I attended a lecture on 'superparticles' which could be a part of particle physics; may be for the first time I sat for a lecture without the compulsion to learn and remember and that made the lecture quite enjoyable...
I read about Sufjan Stevens, Casimir Pulaski, Nick Drake, Modigliani and I see the horror that this society has transformed into...
I still thank my friend for telling me about Into the Wild because it made me sincerely question materialism. Yes, yes ... I'm not a complete disaster yet (or would I be called a victor?).
We still have artists and brilliant scientists in our midst (not so much in our midst, but you get the vibe...) however, they don't seem to be as strong as earlier. They seem weak, succumbing to the lure of materialism which is understandable but deplorable for society as a whole.

Yes, a decade from now people might appreciate some artists whom we don't right now but I don't see a painter, a sculptor, a writer or a poet then... I see successful bands which will have made people happy not through their art but through their canvas.

I said that Europe has been beneficial because I saw a weird joy in people - as the french say "joie de vivre" which means "the joy of living". I see in India people who are old at 25 years of age where the only form of them being young is partying and boozing (extreme generalization).

Next week I'm going for a contemporary dance performance at the NCPA. Will I like it? I don't know but it's a brilliant mode of escapism.


I love the world of particle physics and quantum physics - particularly because it is so difficult to imagine some of the things postulated or proven.
2 galaxies colliding 4 billion light years away?
A very small amount of energy in daily life, such as 1TeV, which is difficult to 'create' or 'capture'...
Weakly Interacting Massive Particles which could hold the key to finding a 'theory of everything'. For the record, experiments are underway in a mine where supercooled Germanium crystals are used to capture the faintest of vibrations from particles such as WIMPs.

Take a step back my friend and you will see how inconsequential our lives are...
We live for 60-90 years.
We pursue money and affection.
We are heartbroken and we feel loved.
We sleep less, we sleep too much, we smile too little, we are serious and not as jovial as we ought to be...
You ask me why I loved Into the Wild?
Here's why:



"So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservatism, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more dangerous to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man's living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun."
— Chris McCandless

"The core of mans' spirit comes from new experiences."
— Chris McCandless

A smile hidden by a mustache

My day started off with a smile. As I neared my house the sweeper outside the building opened the gate for me even though it wasn't his job. When I stepped out I went to him and said, "Boss, thank you haan." I was greeted with an odd simple smile nestled under his thick mustache followed by a gesture with his broom.
A wise man once said, "People wear clothes."
This statement is quite hilarious as soon as we juxtapose man against other species. Clothes provide protection against the elements and also serve as ornaments, possibly to attract mates :| however society has restricted mating through the creation of 'marriage'.
Let's go back a couple of thousand years and we note that man used to be simple. Hunting, farming, eating, procreation, sleeping and miscellaneous chores. It is around this time that the capitalist system or the need to earn, multiply, preserve and spend wealth was created.
What we call technology, innovation and ease of life may be termed futile by another species - which brings me to an earlier post where I mentioned :
Prime Minister Lyonchhen Jigmi Y. Thinley once said, "We are losing our humanness to become robots programmed to be productive through endless labour so as to earn to consume more and more without satisfaction."

Where is the simplicity to life? Is it just a farce? Or are we just doomed to follow this ritual laid out by present-day humans believing this to be the only meaningful way of passing through life?

Find me the spark

Great personalities and great contributions are rarely realized. Random names: Mozart, Ludwig Van, Mohandas Gandhi, Adolf Hitler, Mother Teresa, Michael Jordan?, Elvis Presley, The Beatles!
I believe that striking personalities are difficult to find now and will be even more difficult to find in the future.
There is a lack of independent thought. There is a lack of art (in its various forms).

Do we even know of great artists, poets, composers, authors or leaders from the past 2 decades? Sure, one can say Mandela, Aung San Suu Kyi, Rushdie? - but eh...
What I see is that capitalism and prosperity have driven people into (largely) single files where everyone strives for individual 'success'. It's great that the end of the Cold War stimulated global prosperity. But has the pursuit of prosperity robbed humans of their inherent humanity?

The people who don't fall into files don't get the attention that they would have received some decades ago.
People have become part of the machine and it wouldn't be incorrect to say that things are nice, but I would say that there is an absence of human ingenuity today. Medical research, financial innovations, technological changes are largely driven by entrepreneurs - not as much due to curiosity and thrill, but more due to power and success.
The simplicity of yesteryears is lost.

On an individual level, I believe that some of the innocence can still be ploughed back, or rather, brought to life. Losing oneself and withdrawing from society is a fairly recent development and it can do some of us a lot of good methinks.

Too much time is spent on fear and obedience.

Desires

He said to his friend, "Hey, when you get done with school, if you want, we can go away backpacking through Europe."
Some months later, he quit his job. He went backpacking through Europe for three months.
Now, he secured a job with a great firm, he bought a house by a lake and has a boat docking area. The job pays well and he now has, what seems to be, an excellent house.

Food for thought?

Use and Throw

Sounds like being with a prostitute, but may be that's who we are. We consume and we throw. We consume out of addiction, pleasure, hope, boredom, and need. What am I referring to? Chocolates, food, friends, lovers, feelings, dreams.
The point I am driving in is that in the long run, things tend to be for the short term, very few things remain with us or rather, very few things we choose to keep with us. By the time we are at our respective life's end, most of us will have very few things in our hearts as we did a long time ago (from then).

We tend to get saturated, we change, we get bored of them, we move our attention to a different thing and we learn to let go.
A lot of me is locked up in Champaign and a lot of me is locked in material possessions and my past and current relationships, but those things are also with me. I believe this also holds true for other people.
So tomorrow, when you realize that you use and you throw, realize that the hollow in the stomach is bound to arise but it is also a continual process that tends to tone down as we grow old.

Addic-shunned

Cigars have a lot of nicotine. Or so I hear :)
I smoked 2 good cigars over the last 10 days or so, and already I feel the craving to smoke another. Had always wanted to know what a (mild) pull of addiction was like, and now I know.
No more cigars, at least for a while.
In other news, I will be off any form of meat, chicken, etc. for a month after going back to India. From 20th May to 20th June. I want to know if there is a great difference in me.

So I leave the ways that are making me be what I really don't want to be?

Dealing with Pain

People always mask their pains in society. I believe that one must have come across the notion of how green the other side appears to be. It doesn't pay to disclose pain and furor, especially to unknowns. Disclosing it to knowns is even more treacherous because it takes a large amount of conviction in one's beliefs.



However, there is relief and contentment in unburdening oneself in front of one's knowns. But who are your knowns? And do they change?
This is one of the most humourous things I think of regularly; nothing will remain and all shall fade. The knowns change and you change. And no matter how much we want to grasp at things, things will never remain, unless by their own accordance.
Then again, here is a thought... How often have we thrown away those we once held dear and that we once held precious in pursuit of what seemed greener or easier? How often have we grown scared of taking steps and venturing into what seems unknown? We are the same, unless we decide to be Alexander Supertramp. The real noodle is, will we realise our follies or will we fill the gaps and find our peace? Will the ghosts of the past come to haunt us, asking us... what happened?