Near Death

50 years from now, when you look back at your life, don't you want to say you had the guts to get in the car? - Transformers.
Uncanny movie for such a deep thought to erupt from.
Regret and Guilt - as I have said before - form the basis of my progress. This has been me for the past 4-6 months where I have started to believe that everything that goes forth is based on perceptions of what I would want to not regret x years hence.
It never ceases to amaze me how we humans live in perpetual fear of what lies ahead - thereby shaping our present footsteps towards that future.
In the end it doesn't even matter; Ek pal ka jeena phir toh hai jaana.
It is all very juvenile and mature at the same time.
Even right now for instance, I am putting so much pressure on life that it ceases to be exciting.
I may never know if we are indeed inside the matrix.
I may never know how jubilant I may be on my deathbed - if I ever do have a death bed!
I have been fascinated with the concept of sleep and death.
Because there is no real way to understand where your mind has been or not been during those phases.
Also, those phases in which you are awake but you just lose yourself - I find them intriguing.
The Antarctic Ice Shelf, The solidified lava, The desert till as far as the eyes can see, Outer Space, The thunderous wonder of a secluded waterfall, the Auroras. I wonder if such experiences enchant and awaken he observers.
I want to smile back at my life when I am nearing death - whatever that may be.
That is the future.
The present comprises of Consciousness and Evolution.
Consciousness may relate to emotions, companionship, materialism, knowledge and detachment.
Evolution may relate to molding myself based on perceptions of human behaviour, knowledge that I gain, detachment that I may exercise, emotions that I showcase and materialism that I enjoy or renounce.
I like Droopy when he says,"I'm Happy".