I was at Mumbai airport on my way to Paris and my father knew this guy who would have helped us jump the line and pass most.
I spoke to him, he told me to come to so counter . . .
All well I thought, but then I faced a problem.
I did not allow myself to do that.
I did not deserve jumping the line; it was just wrong.
I waited for an hour in the line - something that I could have managed in 5 minutes.
It seems like a trifle but it was a big deal for me.
Because I had to decide between the easy path and the tough path.
It wasn't a big deal - but it was a matter of principle.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Anger
Anger is one of the truest displays of emotion and it is rarely witnessed in its absolute form.
The thing is, society has created people such that they can never be angry.
It is always better to NOT be angry.
Good to get over it.
Best not to disclose it.
Social stigma attached.
Other people will judge you based on your extreme behavior.
I have shown my anger to a friend nicely and in the most complete way possible.
Of course, I never hit her; I am sensible in that respect :-P
But it was just so fulfilling, now that I think of it.
But, it is also painful because that display will remain in my head forever and the thought of people who may have seen that display makes me uncomfortable.
Repercussions of belonging to society.
Kayserasera
.
The thing is, society has created people such that they can never be angry.
It is always better to NOT be angry.
Good to get over it.
Best not to disclose it.
Social stigma attached.
Other people will judge you based on your extreme behavior.
I have shown my anger to a friend nicely and in the most complete way possible.
Of course, I never hit her; I am sensible in that respect :-P
But it was just so fulfilling, now that I think of it.
But, it is also painful because that display will remain in my head forever and the thought of people who may have seen that display makes me uncomfortable.
Repercussions of belonging to society.
Kayserasera
.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Regulation
Socialism appears simple apart from the fact that the head of state is not like the rest. So that itself makes the concept of socialism a farce. The head of a PSU is greater that a brick layer.
Capitalism seems beautiful but worldwide, there is no example of absolute capitalism. "To each according to his need" - Galt was angered :-D
Who will regulate the regulators?
Why do I get free health cover when a richer guy does not need health cover in a capitlaist society?
Why do I get horrible roads when I pay 34%+ taxes each year?
Tax collections have increased but public servants have gained weight . . .
Who wil audit the auditors?
Who will police the police?
Who will judge the judge?
Who will examine an examiner?
Why does a hardworking businessman pay so many taxes and why does an employee deserve sympathy?
Why are land prices so high when, as soon as I step out of the city all I see is unproductive land?
Why does the CM of Karnataka ride a Bentley?
How does Amar Singh have so many beautiful cars?
Why does a policeman get paid a meagre salary?
Why does the IT officer demand money from me based on the quantum of my income (apart from the official taxes I pay)?
Who will regulate the regulators?
Who will audit the auditors?
Why does a multimillionaire sleep on a wobbly bed of notes and why does a brick layer sleep on a firm and comfortable bed of brick?
?
Capitalism seems beautiful but worldwide, there is no example of absolute capitalism. "To each according to his need" - Galt was angered :-D
Who will regulate the regulators?
Why do I get free health cover when a richer guy does not need health cover in a capitlaist society?
Why do I get horrible roads when I pay 34%+ taxes each year?
Tax collections have increased but public servants have gained weight . . .
Who wil audit the auditors?
Who will police the police?
Who will judge the judge?
Who will examine an examiner?
Why does a hardworking businessman pay so many taxes and why does an employee deserve sympathy?
Why are land prices so high when, as soon as I step out of the city all I see is unproductive land?
Why does the CM of Karnataka ride a Bentley?
How does Amar Singh have so many beautiful cars?
Why does a policeman get paid a meagre salary?
Why does the IT officer demand money from me based on the quantum of my income (apart from the official taxes I pay)?
Who will regulate the regulators?
Who will audit the auditors?
Why does a multimillionaire sleep on a wobbly bed of notes and why does a brick layer sleep on a firm and comfortable bed of brick?
?
Responsibility
The so-called 'investor' is a rare find. How many investors actually pore over a company's finanicals before making a decision to buy its equity? Most retail investors say: "I feel . . .", "O ! This is a rock solid company which has so many retail outlets", "Have you seen the size of that refinery? It is the biggest in the world!!! (Must be good).
Completely irrational investments where they themselves are to be blamed. Finally, when a scam is unearthed, or when the numbers are inferior to competitors' the stock price falls and the 'investor' blames the promoters. "Those SOBs! They should be paraded naked!! Why did they do this? I always thought something was wrong."
Human behaviour is fantastic, which has always intrigued me. We are quick to blame, anger, love, and depress.
Handing over your money to a fund manager or a mutual fund seems apt - and that may be called 'investing'. Here again, not much research goes into how the fund reaches its decisions but an investor's decisions are based on trust. A trust which says - capitalism rocks!
Competition forces a fund manager to do all at his disposal to outperform the rest. One blunder big enough and the fund house may fall low for quite a while. Therefore, an investor has to believe that, as long as the portfolios are transparent, his money will be invested after adequate deliberation.
Fear and Greed - the 2 will always belong together.
It is true that man loves to talk and talk especially of things he does not know of. Adding 20% to 180% to a story is part and parcel of social conversations. Emotions run amok and facts are accentuated. Ego drives decisions and the chitter chatter. I want to appear smart! I want people to remember me! I want to be the center of attention! I want accolades!
There is not a day that passes by when I have not not laughed or smiled at a fellow human being. One of the perks of beign an outsider (Or so I believe ;-) )
Completely irrational investments where they themselves are to be blamed. Finally, when a scam is unearthed, or when the numbers are inferior to competitors' the stock price falls and the 'investor' blames the promoters. "Those SOBs! They should be paraded naked!! Why did they do this? I always thought something was wrong."
Human behaviour is fantastic, which has always intrigued me. We are quick to blame, anger, love, and depress.
Handing over your money to a fund manager or a mutual fund seems apt - and that may be called 'investing'. Here again, not much research goes into how the fund reaches its decisions but an investor's decisions are based on trust. A trust which says - capitalism rocks!
Competition forces a fund manager to do all at his disposal to outperform the rest. One blunder big enough and the fund house may fall low for quite a while. Therefore, an investor has to believe that, as long as the portfolios are transparent, his money will be invested after adequate deliberation.
Fear and Greed - the 2 will always belong together.
It is true that man loves to talk and talk especially of things he does not know of. Adding 20% to 180% to a story is part and parcel of social conversations. Emotions run amok and facts are accentuated. Ego drives decisions and the chitter chatter. I want to appear smart! I want people to remember me! I want to be the center of attention! I want accolades!
There is not a day that passes by when I have not not laughed or smiled at a fellow human being. One of the perks of beign an outsider (Or so I believe ;-) )
Who is to be blamed?
Animals are slautered 'cruelly' - who decides the meaning of 'cruel'?
Why is one life form - plants, trees, vegetation - different from another - animals?
Both life forms eat, drink, digest, multiply and die, but 'blood' and 'visible emotional' give preference to animal life over vegetable life. One is superior to the other and non veg. or meat is 'wrong' and vegetation is 'OK'. Logically, all life forms should be treated equally as long as they are 'produced' for human consumption. Therefore, eating a wild mushroom such as a truffle is just as evil as hunting deer.
Beauty, Monstrosity, Dirt, Gore lies in the eye of the beholder. Even now, if I were to see a dying dog I would feel horrible - but I would be indifferent towards a dying flower. Illogical, but true.
Why is one life form - plants, trees, vegetation - different from another - animals?
Both life forms eat, drink, digest, multiply and die, but 'blood' and 'visible emotional' give preference to animal life over vegetable life. One is superior to the other and non veg. or meat is 'wrong' and vegetation is 'OK'. Logically, all life forms should be treated equally as long as they are 'produced' for human consumption. Therefore, eating a wild mushroom such as a truffle is just as evil as hunting deer.
Beauty, Monstrosity, Dirt, Gore lies in the eye of the beholder. Even now, if I were to see a dying dog I would feel horrible - but I would be indifferent towards a dying flower. Illogical, but true.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
The Ovarian Lottery
I am about to complete The Snowball and Buffett speaks of the estate tax / gift tax and how it is anti-capitalist and anti-meritocratic. I believe he is correct.
For a while now, I have harboured the opinion that income which was taxed when first generated and subsequently taxed when money generated money, need not be taxed again; especially due to the fact that money is flowing from one family member to another.
Warren opines that this is akin to winning the Ovarian Lottery because there is nothing that makes the recipient different from an individual working in a sweatshop elsewhere. This 'transfer' of money should be taxed at the effective rate to bring on a level playing field.
But even taxing it at the normal rate is immoral -may be the tax should be 100%.
What makes you deserve even the Rs. 60-67 of free, sweatless income? Nothing.
If there is something that Ayn Rand influenced me with, it was the level playing field.
For a while now, I have harboured the opinion that income which was taxed when first generated and subsequently taxed when money generated money, need not be taxed again; especially due to the fact that money is flowing from one family member to another.
Warren opines that this is akin to winning the Ovarian Lottery because there is nothing that makes the recipient different from an individual working in a sweatshop elsewhere. This 'transfer' of money should be taxed at the effective rate to bring on a level playing field.
But even taxing it at the normal rate is immoral -may be the tax should be 100%.
What makes you deserve even the Rs. 60-67 of free, sweatless income? Nothing.
If there is something that Ayn Rand influenced me with, it was the level playing field.
Monday, December 29, 2008
Experiments with Reality
Solitude is frowned upon and eccentricism ridiculed.
It is a sad and sorry truth.
The society commands too much attention and adherance.
There is, however, a thick line between solitude and loneliness + eccentricism and dementia
I have called it a thick line, specifically, based on a view of those on the inside.
I am messing with these 2 concepts and my experiments with reality are indeed fruitful.
I hope that the thick line holds steady and does not turn into putty.
How hilarious would that be?
May be it would lead to my experiments with euthanasia
Muahahah
It is a sad and sorry truth.
The society commands too much attention and adherance.
There is, however, a thick line between solitude and loneliness + eccentricism and dementia
I have called it a thick line, specifically, based on a view of those on the inside.
I am messing with these 2 concepts and my experiments with reality are indeed fruitful.
I hope that the thick line holds steady and does not turn into putty.
How hilarious would that be?
May be it would lead to my experiments with euthanasia
Muahahah
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
A walk through the masses
Gateway of India - 3rd Dec. 2008 - 1 week after the 'terrorists' attacked locations in Mumbai.
I wonder how many people knew the meaning of Vande Mataram when they were bellowing.
I wonder how many people threw litter/ garbage below them to beautify the roads while shouting ' Inqulab Zindabaad'
I wonder why they were saying 'Pakistan ko Phek Do'
I wonder if they stopped bribing people and actually started changing the system.
I wonder why they said 'We want action!!' - when the govt. cannot provide for:
1. Good Legal enforcement
2. Continuous Electricity nationally
3. Well paved roads and greater connectivity
4. Continuous Water Supply
5. Clean drinking water
6. Enough toilets
7. Enough clean toilets
8. Meaningful Literacy programmes
9. Good Law enforcement ( O ! Did I mention that already?)
And they want action - - what a laugh riot.
They left the streets, went and ate at a street corner, littered some more, spit some more, cribbed some more and bad mouthed the 'scoundrel politicians'. They are really hilarious!!
Yours Sincerely,
They
I wonder how many people knew the meaning of Vande Mataram when they were bellowing.
I wonder how many people threw litter/ garbage below them to beautify the roads while shouting ' Inqulab Zindabaad'
I wonder why they were saying 'Pakistan ko Phek Do'
I wonder if they stopped bribing people and actually started changing the system.
I wonder why they said 'We want action!!' - when the govt. cannot provide for:
1. Good Legal enforcement
2. Continuous Electricity nationally
3. Well paved roads and greater connectivity
4. Continuous Water Supply
5. Clean drinking water
6. Enough toilets
7. Enough clean toilets
8. Meaningful Literacy programmes
9. Good Law enforcement ( O ! Did I mention that already?)
And they want action - - what a laugh riot.
They left the streets, went and ate at a street corner, littered some more, spit some more, cribbed some more and bad mouthed the 'scoundrel politicians'. They are really hilarious!!
Yours Sincerely,
They
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Human Behavior
Human behavior is perplexing.
There is a need to inquire about another person's loss - sometimes because you really care
And sometimes it is a moral and a social responsibility.
You do not want to be known as a person who did not care.
Then again, you could not care less for so many people.
Bringing me to my constant conclusion.
Life is aimless and most things are inconsequential.
Reevaluation is required from time to time because your course always needs to be modified.
There is a need to inquire about another person's loss - sometimes because you really care
And sometimes it is a moral and a social responsibility.
You do not want to be known as a person who did not care.
Then again, you could not care less for so many people.
Bringing me to my constant conclusion.
Life is aimless and most things are inconsequential.
Reevaluation is required from time to time because your course always needs to be modified.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Appeal
Logic appeals to me more than a naked knockout.
It fascinated me because that is the only evidence of sanity in an insane world.
I am also attracted to the uncanny - and am eccentric myself.
I believe that schizophrenia is not too far away.
I also have a thing for reading and learning, forming my own thesis and logic.
The old statute of :Truth is truth unless proven false; is true.
I asked my friend a question today:
Work of a certain nature makes you crazy with excitement and work of another, easier nature makes you a lump.
The end result may be similar but the journey would be drastically different.
Does such a statement make sense? - Please elaborate if possible.
Now, she is not such a close friend but is a little wierd.
I was being impulsive; and just asked the question.
She replied: I guess whatever you do; work or otherwise -
It's always the journey that really matters, the people you are with, the state of mind you are in, the satisfaction you get everyday that matters more than the end result.
Even if we convince ourselves otherwise.
I said that: May be it answers my question.
A night of silence with a close friend appeals to me.
I appeal to you - Do not be scared of me.
It fascinated me because that is the only evidence of sanity in an insane world.
I am also attracted to the uncanny - and am eccentric myself.
I believe that schizophrenia is not too far away.
I also have a thing for reading and learning, forming my own thesis and logic.
The old statute of :Truth is truth unless proven false; is true.
I asked my friend a question today:
Work of a certain nature makes you crazy with excitement and work of another, easier nature makes you a lump.
The end result may be similar but the journey would be drastically different.
Does such a statement make sense? - Please elaborate if possible.
Now, she is not such a close friend but is a little wierd.
I was being impulsive; and just asked the question.
She replied: I guess whatever you do; work or otherwise -
It's always the journey that really matters, the people you are with, the state of mind you are in, the satisfaction you get everyday that matters more than the end result.
Even if we convince ourselves otherwise.
I said that: May be it answers my question.
A night of silence with a close friend appeals to me.
I appeal to you - Do not be scared of me.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Chai Chariot
It is purpose that drives us all. Everything I write revolves around a few key words.
It is purpose that will decide my future. I do not know why I feel like being alone sometimes, and feel too claustrophobic other times. I may be a loner and I may be a worthless human life. But it is discovery that wants us to live our lives. I do not believe in ignorance. I believe that my attitude would have been very different from how I am now, if I was in my friend's position yesterday night (26/11).
I miss being able to cry. I miss being crazy busy and focused. I hope I can make myself attain that state soon. I am withering away like this.
I don't get peaceful sleep, I am not calm while I am awake. I am restless and lazy. I feel tired and lost.
I feel lost.
I feel alone.
I feel like a you.
It is purpose that will decide my future. I do not know why I feel like being alone sometimes, and feel too claustrophobic other times. I may be a loner and I may be a worthless human life. But it is discovery that wants us to live our lives. I do not believe in ignorance. I believe that my attitude would have been very different from how I am now, if I was in my friend's position yesterday night (26/11).
I miss being able to cry. I miss being crazy busy and focused. I hope I can make myself attain that state soon. I am withering away like this.
I don't get peaceful sleep, I am not calm while I am awake. I am restless and lazy. I feel tired and lost.
I feel lost.
I feel alone.
I feel like a you.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
My friend's birthday
It is one of my best friend's birthday today and it is an interesting day.
Blasts at a hospital in south Mumbai, at Oberois, at the Taj Mahal hotel, something at Nepeansea Road, at the domestic airport. Shootouts at these and some other places. And I wondered why?
It was 2230 - 2300 hrs and some terrorists did not feel like sleeping. There must have been a motive behind this of course. Similar to there being a motive for why intelligence agencies, security and police were blind. Commendable that, for Indian standards, they were doing something. And I believe they did a better job than people expected. It is difficult to please the public.
I wonder why I was scared about everyone I knew.
I wonder why I was so restless regarding 2 of my friends who were stuck in office near Oberois.
I wonder why I felt bad that I could not go to my friend's house to wish her a great birthday.
I wonder what the real motive was.
Purpose is subjective, but omnipresent.
Things are going to go back to normal much sooner than sooner can be.
It is not resilience; it is ignorance of a people who are tired and are too ambitious.
People fear competition and want to stay ahead.
There is a purpose why each day passes.
And each moment exists.
Why each action justifies itself.
I might find the terroists' actions questionable but I am sure they dont feel the same way.
External locus of control v/s Internal locus of control.
There is a certain characteristic of the human being which does not gel with calm.
Mayhem brings purpose.
The reason -
Mayhem for one is a way of calm for another - vice versa.
It is the very reason why the matrix never succeeded and why the human race will not succeed.
Blasts at a hospital in south Mumbai, at Oberois, at the Taj Mahal hotel, something at Nepeansea Road, at the domestic airport. Shootouts at these and some other places. And I wondered why?
It was 2230 - 2300 hrs and some terrorists did not feel like sleeping. There must have been a motive behind this of course. Similar to there being a motive for why intelligence agencies, security and police were blind. Commendable that, for Indian standards, they were doing something. And I believe they did a better job than people expected. It is difficult to please the public.
I wonder why I was scared about everyone I knew.
I wonder why I was so restless regarding 2 of my friends who were stuck in office near Oberois.
I wonder why I felt bad that I could not go to my friend's house to wish her a great birthday.
I wonder what the real motive was.
Purpose is subjective, but omnipresent.
Things are going to go back to normal much sooner than sooner can be.
It is not resilience; it is ignorance of a people who are tired and are too ambitious.
People fear competition and want to stay ahead.
There is a purpose why each day passes.
And each moment exists.
Why each action justifies itself.
I might find the terroists' actions questionable but I am sure they dont feel the same way.
External locus of control v/s Internal locus of control.
There is a certain characteristic of the human being which does not gel with calm.
Mayhem brings purpose.
The reason -
Mayhem for one is a way of calm for another - vice versa.
It is the very reason why the matrix never succeeded and why the human race will not succeed.
Friday, November 14, 2008
The Cogs & Sprockets Inside The Outsider
My brain started functioning only a year ago; I would say approx. 12 months ago.
I started questioning reality, reason and motive.
There is a reason why we are all here - it is a purpose.
I shall not be Morpheus - there is no higher purpose. (Please!)
This purpose is determined - or rather should be determined - by hedonism.
But society has molded almost every human being to be part of a system.
I shall not talk about society right now as this is not a part of the garbage that I want to put forth.
Coming back to hedonism, every purpose will always be unlike the other.
Humans have somehow decided not to question and therefore have lost the reason.
There is a simple way to decipher your purpose - and this I came across 8-9 months ago.
Let us suppose I am 70 something and months, days or minutes away from death.
At that moment I ask myself.
" Now that I look back at my life - did I do something meaningful?
Did my life really matter?
Are there any regrets?"
Now, there are bound to be regrets, and no matter how much you do, your life WAS really meaningless.
But, these questions allow you to create a bucket list.
Sorry for stealing the concept - but the movie gave me the 2 words required.
Now, this bucket list need not be full of the outrageous and the extraordinary.
It needs to be full of things you do not want to regret doing or not doing.
It needs to be full of things that give you plain and selfish pleasure.
The bucket list need not be complete - it can be otherwise and can keep evolving.
You can keep editing it. . .
I do not want to say: "Kaaash" "If only. . ."
I most definitely will; but I want to do all that there is in my locus of control, so that I never utter those words.
I started questioning reality, reason and motive.
There is a reason why we are all here - it is a purpose.
I shall not be Morpheus - there is no higher purpose. (Please!)
This purpose is determined - or rather should be determined - by hedonism.
But society has molded almost every human being to be part of a system.
I shall not talk about society right now as this is not a part of the garbage that I want to put forth.
Coming back to hedonism, every purpose will always be unlike the other.
Humans have somehow decided not to question and therefore have lost the reason.
There is a simple way to decipher your purpose - and this I came across 8-9 months ago.
Let us suppose I am 70 something and months, days or minutes away from death.
At that moment I ask myself.
" Now that I look back at my life - did I do something meaningful?
Did my life really matter?
Are there any regrets?"
Now, there are bound to be regrets, and no matter how much you do, your life WAS really meaningless.
But, these questions allow you to create a bucket list.
Sorry for stealing the concept - but the movie gave me the 2 words required.
Now, this bucket list need not be full of the outrageous and the extraordinary.
It needs to be full of things you do not want to regret doing or not doing.
It needs to be full of things that give you plain and selfish pleasure.
The bucket list need not be complete - it can be otherwise and can keep evolving.
You can keep editing it. . .
I do not want to say: "Kaaash" "If only. . ."
I most definitely will; but I want to do all that there is in my locus of control, so that I never utter those words.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
My Experiments with Reality
A person goes through various phases - emotionally & psychologically - through his teenage life and his 20s. My brain started functioning only about 3-4 years ago. That would be; when I was 18 years old. I had no thoughts before that.
Currently I am answering questions: How much does money matter? Am I a part of society? What is intelligence? Does the multiplier effect suffice for various aspects of life? Are the concepts of loci of control; the answer to sadness? Would you much rather own a farmhouse or a penthouse?
Does the Bentley in your garage matter that much? What is it that gets your pulse racing?
What completes your bucket list? What allows you to sleep peacefully?
And most importantly - because this answers all questions - when you are on your death bed and you look back at your life - Will you find solace?
This blog is dedicated to my thoughts (as much as I can pour out to public eyes), my queries, my judgments and my observations.
Currently I am answering questions: How much does money matter? Am I a part of society? What is intelligence? Does the multiplier effect suffice for various aspects of life? Are the concepts of loci of control; the answer to sadness? Would you much rather own a farmhouse or a penthouse?
Does the Bentley in your garage matter that much? What is it that gets your pulse racing?
What completes your bucket list? What allows you to sleep peacefully?
And most importantly - because this answers all questions - when you are on your death bed and you look back at your life - Will you find solace?
This blog is dedicated to my thoughts (as much as I can pour out to public eyes), my queries, my judgments and my observations.
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