Wine

I was scared that I would change. But of course, I did change. However, my fear stemmed more from my core beliefs about myself and let's say : my holistic aspirations. What that means is up to your imagination...
I don't completely understand why I care about a low standard of living or why I care if people use a fan when they have an air conditioner and it is really hot...
I also don't get why I care so much about continuous electricity or wider roads or more roads or cleaner water or a more sane public...
I don't understand why a part of me boils when I hear or read about ill-treatment of humans; women - usually related to them not being male, inequalities arising from money...
I also smile at myself when I get a chance to look from the outside at a party or an outing where well dressed people are laughing and enjoying themselves. Not that they ought to be concentrating on building wealth or sleeping or rot like that, but that the concept of happiness and contentment varies. I have thought too often about why people dance the way they do and drink the way they do or eat what they do...
I don't know why I smile when I hear of somebody who has just bought his first car, be it a second-hand. It wearies me when I sit in this land and people speak so plainly about vacations or holidays or buying a car or renting a car.
Cultures matter and somehow I believe that the developing world is somewhere in between. We have people who care about family ties and worry about the future and will reluctantly splurge on a particular night.
It amuses me that I have never heard of a second world country. Every country is termed as developed / developing or first / third world. May be, a country such as South Africa or Turkey could be a second world country.
I was scared that I would grow shallow; it has not happened yet.
I don't really see a drive in me to do something outrageous...

It's just that it pains me to think of the place where I have lived my entire life because that place is clearly unjust and below its potential. Not saying that ' Yes!! we can do this!!! '
I am just saying that the society that I belong in functions in a particular way due to 1 - Bureaucracy ; 2 - Literacy; 3 - Apathy; 4 - Legalities. Or lack of all these.

What every entrepreneur does is build a small collection of people individually - which is fantastic. And may be, that is the Indian model of development.
I believe that people have just accepted that infrastructure will always lag.
I don't understand why I have not officially complained against regional developers... I ought to; but there is this weird situation where we know that any 'office' that we will complain to, will be full of apathetic brownies. If we manage to get past that stage, we have also accepted that accountability has not been seen and enforcement has not been seen. We have accepted that there is no consequence to any of such potential actions. So have I.

I hope that one day I can find the courage or may be the conviction to do something. Most probably I won't do it alone and will need some backing from a friend or two dozen.

This is a very sad post because it serves no real purpose; then again, none of my other posts have any purpose either.