Sadness Prevails

I face dilemmas, like most other creatures.
If I don't care about a subject, it is difficult for me to contribute even reasonably to it.
My primary concern as of now is to land a job - one that I want.
I feel tired
I feel strained
Because, somehow I just do not have a nice plan chalked.
Then again, very few people do.
Then again, I should not care about others' behaviors.
Frankly, I am scared.
The repercussions of me not landing a favorable job are, well, unthinkable.
In addition to this, there is something very high on my priority list - may be as important as the job - that I need to settle upon reaching India.

The fundamental issue is due to my belief that I am way above mediocre.
In addition, what I want to create is questionable and distant.
The problem is desires.
If my desires were set low, I would have been alright.

I sometimes wonder if I am capable of doing all that I dream of.
Capability stems from capacity and from perseverance.
Wonder if I have it in me to slug it out.