Saturday, July 28, 2012

India should not strive to become a superpower

"For very many years, the Indian experiment with nationhood and democracy was written off by Western observers. Indians were informed, through a series of premature obituaries, that our country was too diverse to be a single nation, and too poor to be run on democratic lines. To be sure, the nation was scarcely stable or secure – it lurched, as it were, from crisis to crisis, from riot to assassination to border conflict to open war. But somehow, India survived; somehow (and despite the Emergency) it even stayed democratic."


"But to fly from Bangalore to Delhi, and back, is literally to fl y over a serious challenge to the 
emergence of India as a global superpower. Obscured from the bird in the sky is the Naxalite insurgency in central India, which covers at least one-tenth of the country’s surface, and which has at its core the sufferings and discontent of tens of millions of tribal people."



"The challenge of the Naxalites; the insidious presence of the Hindutvawadis; the degradation of the once liberal and upright Centre; the increasing gap between the rich and the poor; the trivialisation of 
the media; the unsustainability, in an environmental sense, of present patterns of resource consumption; 
the instability and policy incoherence caused by multi-party coalition governments – these are seven 
reasons why India will not become a superpower. To this, so-to-speak objective judgment of the 
historian, I will now add the subjective desires of a citizen – which is that India should not even attempt 
to become a superpower."

These are excerpts from a fantastic Guha creation.
India is a mystery. It should not be a country - It should have been a continent comprised of many nations. It seems to me that there is nothing that binds us together except history.

"Back in 1948, doubts were also being cast about the Indian experiment with nationhood. Never before 
had a new nation not based its unity on a single language, religion, or common enemy. As an inclusive,
plural, and non-adversarial model of nationalism, the idea of India had no precedent or imitator."


The concept and practise of capitalism has changed human nature. It has made humans more useless, more shortsighted and oddly stupid in their real selves. Sure, it makes people create the LHC or discover the Higgs Boson or create skyscrapers or ships that fly to the ends of the Universe - but we have left the true animal behind. Somewhere, India was and still is a strong bastion of what it was to be human - Bhutan may still be there. The pursuit of excellence and a good life has been replaced with that for power and more. It is not the right path.
The urge to pee is greater than the urge to pray is greater than the urge to dominate.

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Do Nothing

Action Bias. It is a plague that has hit large swaths of humanity. The incessant need to do something. May be that's why I like walking alone because then I am not answerable to anything or anyone. Just like the time, recently, when I walked alone at this village in Ladakh called Stok and I stopped walking and I sat down for a half hour may be just because I wanted to.

An ad made me right this. I think it is write in the message it's trying to convey. Go nowhere. Do nothing.

It's your time
To waste time
Coz you'll never be young again
So go nowhere
And do nothing
Chat up the wind!
Kiss every frog
Stare at nothing
Waste more time
Coz you'll never be young again
Tick tock Tick tock Tick tock...
Waste away (Empty your head)
Float away...
Coz you'll never be young again...

There was a time not so long ago when people had time. It seems to me that people don't have time nowadays. Ok, will leave office at 6pm and go to gym and eat and watch TV and sleep. I will wake up early because it's the healthy thing to do, eat some food and watch a movie and go shopping and meet a friend and talk and talk...
What happened to not doing?


Thursday, June 21, 2012

Life and Ladakh

The fragility of life haunts me in a romantic way. I still think of my friend who died more than a month ago, and the way he died makes me really believe in the power of life and that which we don't cherish - life itself. Tsunami, earthquakes, car crash, an odd fall, a virus or a bacterium, a deranged human being, a missile from an unfriendly country - anything can hurt us and there is nothing we can do. I have written this way often and yet have not grown tired of it. Should I tell her that I love her? Should I tell him that he is awesome? Should I smile more often and be crazy for no reason? Should I breathe some pure air because I have the ability to? Is the process of earning money interfering with one's desire to live one's life? Can this be balanced? I can't eat Korean food once I'm dead, nor can I kiss a girl or drink some wonderful water.


In other news...once again, I am off to the mountains (This Sunday). I love them because they don't care.
And once again I must say goodbye in case I don't come back alive; it would be a wonderful way to leave existence - in the mountains. Am not ready of course, far from it :)
Have sustained an injury in my right knee but still going for a 4 day trek through Sham valley. After that, plan to live in a village away from Leh. Let's hope I make it through all of this.
PS I weigh 73 kilos. Shall let you guys know what the number stands at when (and if) I'm back.


Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Farrokh!

Somehow, I have managed to stay away from Queen for the last 25 odd years. I am happy now for I have found Freddie Dikra :d a.k.a. Freddie Mercury aka Farrokh Bulsara
The music, the lyrics, the insanity, the voice, the voice, the voice.

Dynamite with a laser beam
You say Shark, I say - Hey man! Jaws was never my scene and I don't like Star Wars!!
All I wanna do is... Bicycle!!
I dont have no time for no monkey business!!
200 degrees!! That's why they call me Mr. Fahrenheit!!

I have been a little insane about their songs - but I wonder what Queen would have been without Freddie.

Freddie!! Sing away in my head por favor!!



Monday, June 11, 2012

SHUT UP YOU IDIOT

Spoiler Alert.
The final season of House MD has ended. A fitting end. Am happy we did not have to deal with the misery of Wilson's death or House's imprisonment/ death/ suicide/ murder...
Am truly going to miss the show. My eyes were watery when the house burnt down on house and Wilson tried to run towards him.
I hope that some of the 'lessons' don't leave me - those related to being an ass, having fun, not believing people at face value, the value of relationships, but foremost may just be the fear of imprisonment - may it be through a physical injury, a mental illness, a prison, bearing with personal commitments or just living a woeful life.

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Kleptocracy

Yes, please look up the meaning of the term first. Kleptocracy.
Generally, I write about China on my other blog but I thought I should write here for a change. First, is this post by a very interesting man who lives in Australia and operates a very small short-focused hedge fund. The post talks about how the country is a little bit difficult to decipher. The one-child policy and the country's economic regime has created very unique behavioral patterns which ought to culminate towards a revolution.
Second, is this video which is a 40 minute interview of a guy who speaks of China becoming a mafia state. All plausible. 

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

House MD

Once again, House MD makes me right, yes, right, this post. Season eight is marvellous. Chase was stabbed and what ensued was classic House. House and Wilson share a wonderful relationship. Chase said, "He is the only one who can fix me". Something like that.
The frailty of that which we call life is astounding. Most of the times, good things happen and sometimes, bad things happen. There need not be a reason. Bad things happen.
I am undergoing physiotherapy for something odd with my left leg; the mere thought of not being able to walk is demoralising. The thought of being left alone is unnerving. And yet, that is the way life is deemed to serve us, or may be the other way around.
Often have I been called odd. I do see myself as a misfit and oddly, many people think so too about themselves. But I guess life is well-lived in one way - the individual way. I am reading the biography of Steve Jobs and the following part of the ad campaign which is now popular says a lot about who we, as humans, are supposed to be.


Here's To The Crazy Ones. The misfits. The rebels. The trouble-makers. The round pegs in thesquare holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules, and they haveno respect for the status-quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify, or vilify them.About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push thehuman race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius.Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world - are the ones who DO !

Going back to House, how does compassion change facts? Why are morals expected of people in a way that is deemed fit by the assessors? What good is a life lived in subjugation? It could be taken away anytime. 
Jobs had often said that he didn't expect himself to live long.

Monday, May 7, 2012

Yangry

For long have I skirted this issue... why do we lose our cool? And by we, I mean I. :)
Personally, I guess it has to do with being stuck in situations which are leading nowhere, which in turn cause frustration. This could have to do with a simple conversation with a strongly opinionated person who is not open to backing down from a conversation that is leading nowhere.
I also lose my cool when emotions and societal norms are mixed with logical/ correct or business-oriented decisions; that is to say when bureaucratic delays and known errors are caused through egos which can't be countered.
Sadly, I can't remember the last time I got really angry. I wonder if that's bad. I get frustrated, yes, but not downright angry.
I want to walk.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Seriously!

Was listening to the radio today... yes... radio still rocks!! Anyways... someone said... "I don't take myself too seriously; I see quite a few spiritual types who become very serious - that is when I get bored." I couldn't help but smile with fondness. Suits are dangerous and so are the people within. Life is a bit of a joke and it's best to dance your way through it. It is a bit of a jolt that I received in the last year regarding the importance of sincerity and the futility of seriousness.
And hence, quite a bit of my hair was coloured purple and may be why I mustered up the courage to sing regularly at karaoke and may be why I wear more colours on myself and may be why I decided to begin meditating on a regular basis and may be why I started paying attention to my fitness and may be why I love music at a different level now. The peeps are a little missing... but the peeps shall be found... here's to life y'all. Here's to life. 

Saturday, April 21, 2012

To Life

I spoke to a friend from Junior College yesterday and it took me back to those days. How I detest and love who I used to be... I still don't know why it took me such a long time to become comfortable with myself. I used to be insecure and now some people see me as quite self-assured; I believe I'm just a shadow of my past now. It frightens me when I think of how enjoyable life is right now but yes, the core of man's spirit comes from new experiences. Gosh, how I love my 'profession'. Very odd that be. Let the music flow. Cherish the alcohol. Stay away from boring people. Do new things. Look into the horizon. Pay due respect to the mice. 42. Always know where your towel is.

Sunday, April 8, 2012

Ben

So he died yesterday. This post is not with the intention of receiving comments or making a mark. May be it's just a reminder. Things happen which are outside our realm of control. I loved him for selfish reasons, but I loved him nonetheless. I hate that this happened.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

100 100

So I had to write about this. This will be one of the many 1000s of articles/ posts about Tendulkar's 100th century. Although a '100' is quite an arbitrary number, being human we consider it a milestone. If he had ended his career at 99 centuries, we would have longed for that one more.
For many Indians, cricket for the last half of the 90s and the 2000s was a lot about Sachin Tendulkar. This guy is five feet five inches tall and has been called one of the worst sledgers in cricketing history because of his uncounth stubbornness at the crease and his focused and composed demeanour. He has always let his cricket speak for him and cricket fans the world over hail him as the little master.
For me, it is emotional just seeing him play well. The way he removed his helmet, looked at his bat and then looked up - may be at his father - it made me want to cry a little. When India won the world cup, I was happy for him because he needed it for the country. I wonder what he feels everytime he does his country proud and when he knows that he is such a revered figure in this country. I remember his performance in the '96 world cup and in '98 in Sharjah. The younger population will never understand what it meant to us when we saw him unleashing the demon within and clobbering mighty bowlers with his mouth shut.
For me, he has been larger than the Indian team and he has been a face of India in many parts of the world. A 100 100s don't mean much, may be it is as good as 99 or 101 centuries. There have been so many times that he has been dismissed in the 90s, and he in fact holds the record for the most number of times dismissed in his 90s, largely due to his fantastic and long batting career.
I remember his slight stride with a the straight face of the bat at a 45 degree-ish angle off the vertical and the ball would go soaring away for a six. People would be perplexed with his technique and with his effortlessness. I remember how charged the atmosphere was in the Sharjah series when we had to attain a certain number of runs to qualify for the final. Am not sure why that series was so important but it is etched in my mind. 143 runs. Long live Sachin.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Fund

So I have started what can be termed as a proprietary fund and at times when I think back at what I have been through and what I am currently going through, especially the last 4-5 months, I feel fortunate for having access to such an opportunity. I already see myself developing in odd ways. However, the risks are difficult to comprehend.
As an employee, one's issues are competitive and seniority oriented. One looks forward to promotions, appreciation, beating another person in the team/ company, getting recognition from a senior but is never too worried because diligence tends to pay off.
As an owner and as a fund manager who is responsible for a corpus, everyday is an intellectual and mental struggle which is also very rewarding because of the freedom and control and lack of fear. However, the risks are such that I could not have comprehended them a year ago. Here I am, sitting on a corpus which needs to be invested, but I am slothy about it because it needs to be deployed qualitatively and carefully - not rapidly for the quick buck. The strain of sitting on cash is quite something. The strain of waiting for an investee company to perform is also difficult to adjust to because in a normal business, one is more in control of what is happening whereas here, one has to hope for the investee management to do good work. 

Monday, February 20, 2012

Lennon

John Lennon has his band of followers even today. I have loved him only because he was a part of the Beatles; for me the band was bigger than him. But once in a while, I have come across some of his (possible) quotes such as:

Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.

“When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.” 

Monday, February 13, 2012

My life

Nick Drake started singing and I wondered why I got his portrait made... and then I heard his voice and the truth he spoke - so I smiled. He sent my mind back to school and college; it seems like somebody else I am thinking of right now.
I remember my insecurities and I remember crying alone. I remember my clumsy gait and my pretenses. I remember my blind pursuits and being called strange. Most of my oddities are from Junior College times, the frugality, the search for who I was, the need to slightly impress those around me. One of the many crazy things I also remember: I never knew how to behave around people, I could never hear myself speak when people said I spoke to rapidly. I remember jumping from the window ledge to the corridor for no particular reason except may be to emulate someone else. I wondered (as I do now) why people behave the way they do. Odd things make me tick and surprisingly, that was the same then.

But I see myself today and I believe that I have become more shallow, much meaner and slightly cold. I have also gotten in touch with myself and I know that I strive to be immensely truthful. A friend asked me if I am different around different people... and I said that, a few years ago I would have said, 'Yes'; now, I say 'No'. I am quite the same around most people: a little lost, a little crazy, quite silent, an open book but immensely personal. My coldness stems from reality and the tiny issues I have with social customs - I usually mean well but can't seem to bother with niceties.

There was a time that I felt I was quite alone, in terms of how I am; now, I am quite sure there are many weirdos like me. Does it matter? May be. "I want to be unique! Everybody else is!!"

I may never understand the influence that music has had on my development, but I hear Nick's voice right now and I know he is beautiful. 

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Hotel

I was at the Sahara Star yesterday, which is near the domestic airport terminal in Vile Parle East. Was dinnering with a friend and his wife -OMG this is insane!!! I now have friends who are married!!!! Insanity I say!!! This is madnesss!!! This is not Sparta!!!!

Anyway, we ate at Namak where they have some odd custom where they welcome people to eat with their hands. The servers were sub-par and slightly confused, although the hospitality was stupendous - the greeter made sure we sat down and took care of us until one of the servers could come by with menus and complimentary refreshments. So we had food there, which was nice and not excellent, but nice nonetheless.. loved the biryani :D

We then went around the circumference of the dome inside the hotel and made our way to the coffee lounge, and this is why I am writing this on my blog. We sit down at 1020 pm, the place is about the shut at 11 pm. Yes, there is a normal coffee shop at the lower level which, I believe, is open 24 hrs a day.
We sit down and are lusting after the pastries on display; I feel like having an espresso and the server says something odd. He says that there is a cover charge of INR 500 per person. I am utterly dumbfounded.
I ask him to ask a senior person if we can not pay that ridiculous amount because we had just finished dinner downstairs... The senior dude comes along and says that he is sorry, but it is a policy of the 'restaurant', but he did say that since the place is shutting soon, we were welcome to sit.
So I think, well, if we can sit, and we want to have a coffee and a pastry, why can't we order it? He says that we can, but it will be subject to the cover charge. Ludicrous.
So, we decide not to order anything.

What transpired above was rather ridiculous for a hotel as nice as the Sahara Star, especially because it was with paying guests of the hotel. A cover charge? Really? Some rules need to be bent. Yes.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Ruminating yet again

I attended a dear friend's marriage in Agra. It was cold, I was surrounded by his IITian batchmates and I was happy to be there. 
I saw J. Edgar and got a peek into the life of a person who changed the world in a not-so-insignificant way.
I saw Coriolanus and wondered what Ralph Fiennes is made of. Wonderful actor he is.
I heard Michael Buble for the first time and I heard the mischief of Sinatra in his music.
Advaita, the band, is going to create some truly amazing music in the years to come. I know it.
Max Chandra is in Chennai right now (as far as I know).
Unfaithful made me question the concept of sanity.
The Selfish Gene makes me question the nature of human beings, reaffirms my belief in the insignificance of it all and makes me smile at the thought of our pursuit of the natural us.
And here I am waiting, while I see multitudes of people passing me by.
Often, and without effort, I see people through another eye; as though I am an alien looking at the human population engaged in activity. It scares me when I see myself functioning this way; detached, unemotional and yet immensely sensitive. And even though I am consciously engaged, I am alone. I am not sad, just pensive yet crazy. 

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Who are we?

I have written about this guy before, here, and luckily, I came across another article on him. More of an interview. The guy is nearing Chennai - please do read this interview/ article about Max Chandra and The One Step at a Time Foundation. I liked this:


"Do you miss anything?
I cannot say that I miss much. I miss intimacy - not sex - intimacy in holding hands, in a kiss, in a hug... I miss having a friend to talk to when I am suffering or when I am excited. I miss sharing moments."
May be this speaks a lot about who we really are. And somehow it is at conflict with who we are genetically supposed to be - food and sex should spur us on, but it is not the same anymore. We, as living beings, have changed.
__________________________________________________________________________


Moving from one charitable foundation to another initiative: CancerFights
I was at Pritvhi Cafe with my friend who had come down from the US and at the tea/ snacks counter I saw a familiar face. AP seemed shock to see me; we were seeing each other after school (10 years ago!) and what followed was a flurry of words about what we are doing and how life has been. I knew she had been on TV as a presenter on a business news channel and I also kinda knew that she was doing her PhD in finance. And then she drops a bomb - she was starting a charitable organisation/ foundation. I was taken aback because a person who has been on TV, professionally, and who is pursuing her PhD is not expected to do something as 'altruistic' as this. However, this post is not about her.  
This post started with Max and is now at AP. It amazes me that there are still some of us who are capable of doing this - leave the line, care less about the material, care less about accepted norms of progress. Who are we if not willing to do something meaningful? Odd that I just wrote about this very topic some days ago. When I read a bit of what CancerFights had on their site, it disturbed me because... I was there, back from a lazy day of work, the purpose of which is to potentially live life with a better temperament and improving rationality and knowledge along the way. I managed to quit my job and stay away from the family business and I believe I'm doing a great job with my life; I also believe that I will soon try to teach a case study oriented course to undergraduates who could really use such a non-rote course. I wasn't disturbed because I am 'not doing anything meaningful', I think I am on my way to doing worthwhile things; I was disturbed because I envy such people.
To walk for consciousness.
To work closely with cancer patients - the quality not the quantity.
Here's to living a meaningful life. Congratulations Max and AP.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Why?

Zed.
So it's SE, LK and RS whom I quite miss. Am sure I wouldn't be able to tolerate them for too long but I can't most people. Oh, how easy it is to succumb to the lure of the material world and the fear of being penniless. SE asked me, "What is the purpose of life?". "To enjoy life to the maximum extent", I replied. And then I added, "Bearing in mind limitations such that the enjoyment can be sustained until the end." He frowned. Why? Zed.
So here I am, working out financial valuation in my odd way while listening to this new piece of alternative, folk Indian band, in my office which looks more like a studio. My head is spinning (is that English?) for I am contemplating the investment decision I have made. Monday shall be decision day.
What value am I adding to society by pursuing this career? Not sure. However, this career allows me free time to then participate in this society. Spanish classes for now, teaching is on the cards, so is travelling. I hope I can teach something that is case-study oriented to students - the shallowness of Indian education will ruin us as it has been for a while. Why? Zed.
Procrastination is evil. I should work on this soon!!!


Friday, December 30, 2011

Time

In Inception, the movie, we are introduced to the varying degrees of time based on the difference between the real world and the dream world. Similarly, it is interesting how humans tend to give credence to seconds, minutes or hours based on the nature of the activity. But usually, by the time a human being draws closer to his death, he remembers time in years and at times as bundles of years together. Each day with a girlfriend at the age of 24 is kinda remembered or cherished; which, by old age, becomes compressed into a statement. In the words of Juliet (from the song by the Killers), "O Romeo, yeah, you know I used to have a scene with him."

As humans we have calibrated time down to seconds, for most useful purposes. But the mountains don't care. I believe that they measure time in centuries or millenia. And the planets don't care. They may be seeing time in hundreds of thousands of years, may be even millions... and yet here we are, this intelligent species that crawls through time as ingrates continually succumbing to societal pressures and becoming more lethargic and less alive with each passing year.

A few people believe that I tend to talk about pessimistic or depressing stuff, but most of what I talk about tends towards hope and living. This year, 2011, is drawing to a close. I closed an important and ruinous chapter in my life. I have started an important phase - my office and my company - and I see an important chapter opening soon enough. 2011 has made me younger, healthier, more introspective, calmer and more adventurous. I hope that truth doesn't leave me, although I'm pretty sure that will be my undoing.