Sunday, August 2, 2009


I remember a thought when I was pretty young.
I remember saying to myself, if there was no war - there would be a crazy lot of unemployment.
I remember thinking, why can't Pakistan and India unite and - the animosity would end.
I remember thinking, why can't all the countries unite? - people could not and cannot follow only one leader.
I remember not talking to too many people.
I remember keeping to myself and being shy.
I remember sitting towards the end of the line, when everyone got up in a rush and they ran / walked over me - literally.
I remember memorizing the alphabet backwards.
I remember walking and talking with my friend - thereby bypassing the exercise - during physical training periods.
I remember being made fun of for having white hair and I remember crying.
I remember the teacher asking me when India celebrates its independence day - and I did not know because I was scared.
I remember running up to the teacher being one of the first few to complete mental maths practices.
I remember crying - so often - before leaving for school.
I remember crying as soon as I woke up.
I distinctly remember having difficulty in walking down the stairs, and no problem walking up them.
I remember being unable to run - UNABLE to run.
I remember crying insane songs to which some of my classmates would laugh with joy.
I remember volunteering as the class representative for the head of the foyer because no other guy raised his hand.
I remember preparing a speech all by myself, eventually saying only the first and the last line.
I remember the cartoons and the food and the endless study sessions.
I remember the ignorance.
I remember picking up a knife because I was sick and tired of life - and this was in 7th or 8th Standard.
I remember putting it down because I cared to much about the people who cared about me.
I remember me cursing 'God'.
I remember me praying to 'God' sometimes.
I remember me enjoying 'needle work ' classes.
I remember me not taking a leak - almost never - during school because I was too shy.
I remember passing the water bottles to my classmates after school because we had been taught the 'Law of Karma'.
I remember the teacher astonished when I went up to her and told her about a formula that I had 'discovered'.
I remember my fascination with looking down from the fourth floor of the building, especially at the interior hollow hexagon (something that JNS students would know of).
I remember a school mate once telling me, "You should start speaking in English, because once we leave school - that is what will be important."
I remember a school mate siding me when some guys were making fun of me.
I remember their fake apologies.
I remember accidentally killing a snail along with its big shell - and then me running away, because I thought God was going to punish me.
I remember never craving a specific toy.
I remember sitting towards the end of the line, when everyone got up in a rush and they ran / walked over me - literally.

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